Why do people lie & why is it so hard to find an honest person in today’s society?

So in a bid to find out why people lie, I decided to ask google… and there it was! An article By the Famous By “Robert J. Burrowes”. It was a real eye opener for me and I have to say it was so true. The bases of all the lies we tell all comes down to one very thing, FEAR!!!

The fear of being judge, looked down upon, punished, not being believed and other insecurities, it all has to do with fear. To overcome a lying tongue one needs to overcome FEAR itself!

Read below insights from Dr. Roberts himself…..

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The purpose of fear is to suppress awareness of the truth.

People always lie for the same reason: fear. But the precise fear that makes a person lie in one circumstance might be different from the fear that makes them lie in another.

When a child is young, it will naturally tell the truth. Most usually, it starts to learn to lie (consciously or unconsciously) when it discovers that it is not believed when it tells the lie or it is blamed and punished for telling the truth (particularly if the truth is unpalatable to a parent or other adult). In these circumstances, lying might occur in an attempt to be believed or in an attempt to avoid blame and punishment and the lie might take the form of the child fearfully telling the parent what the child knows the parent wants to hear. Why does this happen?

Because a child is genetically programmed to behave functionally (evolution had to get this right or individuals and species would not survive infancy), it would always tell the truth. But if it is not

believed then the child must ‘learn’ to devise strategies, including lying, to be believed. This might start as a fearfully conscious response but it will probably become increasingly unconscious and automated as it learns what is ‘expected’.

If the child is blamed and/or punished for telling an unpalatable truth then, again, it must ‘learn’ to devise strategies, including lying, to avoid blame and punishment. Given that many social institutions routinely require behaviours that evolution did not intend and which are not functional (for example, sitting in a school classroom all day), the child will be progressively dysfunctionalized in a variety of ways, including ones that scare it out of telling the truth about how it feels and what it needs (as it would otherwise do naturally).

By the time the typical child has reached adolescence, it will live in a world of considerable delusion about itself, other people and the world in general. In these circumstances, the emerging adult will now lie unconsciously, primarily in order to maintain its delusions about itself and the complementary delusions it has about others and the world. This is why most politicians lie. But they are not alone.

For example, a mother will want to maintain a sense of herself as ‘a good mother’ (however dysfunctionalized and/or violent she is) and if one or more of her children decide to challenge her dysfunctional/violent behaviours or even to discontinue their relationship with her, then, rather than acknowledge her dysfunctional/violent behaviours and accept responsibility for dealing with these (which would require her to have the courage to feel the suppressed fear, pain, anger, sadness and other feelings that drive her dysfunctionalities and violence), she is most likely to reinforce her own delusions about herself by lying about herself and her child, including about the reasons her child no longer wants to have a relationship with her.

But much of her lying will be unconscious because, to lie consciously would mean that she could acknowledge (at least to herself) her dysfunctional/violent behaviours and, perhaps, accept responsibility for dealing with these. However, of course, this almost invariably does not happen precisely because of her fear (based on her own childhood experience) of being blamed and punished for making, and acknowledging, ‘mistakes’. It is far less frightening to fearfully lie (and act accordingly) than to acknowledge her delusion about herself and to accept responsibility for her dysfunctional and violent behaviours.

So why do most people believe lies?

Each child is born with a predisposition to believe the adults in its life. This is evolutionarily functional because childhood survival depends on adult care. But the child is also born with the potential to develop a ‘truth register’: the mental function, related to anger, that enables it to detect lies. Unfortunately, the truth register, like all potential capacities, is a subtle and easily damaged mental function and if a child is lied to chronically by a parent or other significant adult during its childhood, the truth register will either not develop or it will be weakened to such an extent that it will no longer readily detect lies.

A person who has been lied to chronically will develop a gullibility that is obvious to those with a developed truth register but even the gullibility of others will be obscure to those with an undeveloped or weakened truth register of their own.

What can we do about lying? Just four things will fix this chronic problem: always tell the truth fearlessly yourself, always believe children, always take affirmative action in response to the child’s truth, and never punish anyone (including whistleblowers like Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden) for telling the truth.

You can run from the truth
You can hide from the truth
You can deny the truth
But you cannot destroy the truth

By Robert J. Burrowes

Biodata: Robert has a lifetime commitment to understanding and ending human violence.
He has done extensive research since 1966 in an effort to understand
why human beings are violent and has been a nonviolent activist since 1981.
He is the author of ‘Why Violence?’ http://tinyurl.com/whyviolence
His email address is flametree@riseup.net and his website is at http://robertjburrowes.wordpress.com

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Karkafi Hair now in Nigeria!!! Anticipate The search For Mrs. Karkafi Nigeria! DISTRIBUTORS WANTED!!!

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Karkafi Hair is now in Nigeria and aims to be of impact to the society by caring for Nigerian women!

Since 1968, Karkafi hair has been evolving. Wide varieties of natural hair extensions, and wigs are at your service in our showrooms located all over the Arab world & Africa.

As an international hair line brand “Karkafi Hair Nigeria” is interested in celebrating real African beauty and thus by its annual search for MISS KARKAFI HAIR will take place here in Nigeria. The winner will become a brand ambassador & tour the countries where the brand is located.

Karkafi hair is also indulging the public by empowering individual into self job employment as DISTRIBUTORS of KARKAFI Hair in Nigeria.qa

For enquires
http://www.facebook.com/karkafihairnigeria
http://www.instagram.com/karkafihairnigeria
http://www.karkafihair.com
@karkafihair_ng
Tel:08093000300/ Bbm:2a299c19
Visiting time 12-3pm at 230 muri okunola street Victoria Island Lagos.

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Celebrities and Designers Needed for A Brand Development Campaign #pmeDAC @Model_Excel

DRESS A CELEBRITY (D.A.C.)

We want to you this medium to formerly introduce to you an initiative designed by Project Model Excel to showcase/promote young & aspiring indigenous fashion designers and stylists by pairing them up with Celebrities, Socialites & Icons and using this to run a brand development campaign that will raise money for a chosen humanitarian cause.

Dress A Celebrity (D.A.C), was specifically created to showcase talented indigenous designers and unique stylists. We aim to create a win-win scenario whereby we are able to bring Nigerian Talent into lime light and at the same time edify and portray the participating celebrity as an individual who is patriotic towards Nigerian brands and at the same time philanthropic as duplicates of worn items by the celebrity will be sold or auctioned to raise funds for a humanitarian endeavour.

Who do we need to sign up:

1) Celebrities

2) Designers

3) Stylists

This project will proove to be the ultimate brand development program for vibrant designers and stylists!

This project will give the designers and stylist the opportunity for designers to:

(*) Develop their brand

(*) Dress a Celebrity of their choice

(*) Feature in editorials

(*) opportunity to Headline top pageantries

(*) Increase sales via eCommerce channels

(*) enter into mentorship enrollment programs

And so much more!

CELEBRITIES ARE ASKED TO SEND IN A BRIEF DESCRIPTION ABOUT THEIR SENSE OF STYLE AND THEIR CLOTHING MEASUREMENTS.

DESIGNERS SHOULD PLEAS SEND THIER APPLICATION BY EMAILING US A BRIEF HISTORY ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR BRAND. ALONG WITH PICTURES OF THIER WORKS! (projectmodelexcel@gmail.com)

10 designers and 5 stylist will be chosen to take part in the maiden edition of this project!

Cost: a participation fee will be attached for selected applicants

Registration closes: Jan 26th, 2014.

We are continuously looking for media partners to launch the official maiden edition of this project and we need your help and assistance get as much designers, stylists, and celebrities involved.

Thank you!


Project Model & Excel
Twitter: @Model_Excel
Instagram: projectmodelexcel
Tumblr: projectmodelexcel
Tel: 07054813477 & 08106997262

Email: projectmodelexcel@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Project-Model-Excel/476354465744238

Website: http://www.projectmodelexcel.wordpress.com

”The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.”
– Benjamin Disrael

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Post Christmas Clean Up Continues at Elegushi Beach @Gidiculturefest

Post Christmas Clean Up Continues at Elegushi Beach

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Wednesday, January 08 (Lagos) – The Gidi Culture Festival team and volunteers participated in the first ever ‘Beach Sweep’ by clearing out litter and debris at Elegushi beach in Lagos. The event took place on the last Saturday of the month, highlighting the importance of the environmental sanitation.

The beach sweep is part of the ‘Rep your community’ drive by Gidi Culture festival to encourage youth participation in local communities and community projects. The Beach sweep encourages visitors to keep the beach and communities clean during the Christmas and festive periods. Gidi Culture is engaging its network to help support the beach and its local residents.

Volunteers cleaned out the beach and surrounding areas of the popular beach, which attracts over 3,000 visitors on the weekends alone. They removed bottles, debris from the waterways and litter from the rock bay.

Litter is a severe problem across beaches in Lagos with a growing need to stop this problem by educating visitors of the beach and the local community. Marine and shoreline litter can come from anywhere, some blown in by wind or travel by river streams and storm drains.

It is important to clean the beach and the shoreline to protect the local community as well as the wildlife that call those areas home.

“Elegushi beach is an integral part of our local community and organising the sweep is one way of encouraging visitors and local residents to take ownership of the beach and keep the beach superior and clean during visits” said Okeke.

Okeke, continued “We hope to make this a quarterly event, which we would like to roll out to other beaches across Nigeria. We have found that this sort of event encourages a sense of community and encourages local residents in giving back to their local community”.

Watch the GCF Beach Sweep

For More Photos Please Visit

Follow Gidi Culture Festival on Twitter

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